Emma's Worldwide Adventure

NZ South Island 18 Feb - 07 March 2011

With all the recent floods and cyclones in Australia plus the earthquakes in NZ, you’d think Em and I were actively chasing all these natural disasters. But we’re not! We simply seem to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Despite the rather sizeable earth tremors that have pretty much flattened Christchurch, we have thankfully managed to avoid the trouble and have continued our Stray pass around the south island unscathed, apart from the gazillion sand-fly bites we both seem to have acquired.

After getting up excruciating early to catch the 3hr ferry from Wellington to Picton, we spent a couple of days recuperating near Nelson with some kiwi Mollett cousins. It was great to catch up with Guy and Anna, although I don’t reckon we got much R&R as we were constantly playing with Evie, my 2 year-old half cousin/second cousin/first cousin once removed or whatever relation your cousin’s child is to you! Man, children are exhausting. But thankfully, our need for a lazy day came around in Abel Tasman National Park, where we leisurely walked 6km in some glorious sunshine to Appletree Bay and spent several hours sun-bathing and being chased by massive bumblebees.

Then, there was Barrytown, or Barry-no-town as our driver called it, where we spent the night dressed as Elvis and ET in a rather random hotel, with a german tinkerbell and his zauberstab (he couldn’t pronounce wand). It was also the place where I successfully managed to carve myself a silver fern (NZ all blacks leafy symbol) out of cow bone, after 3 hours of sanding and grinding and generally getting covered from head to toe in bone dust. Dandruff anyone? The highlight of our west coast tour definitely had to be our Franz Josef glacier climb, where we spent 7 hours stabbing our crampons into the ice, climbing through deep crevasses and enjoying the vast icy sights.

With a brief stint in Makarora, where we slept in sweet little Swedish-esque A-frame huts, we trundled on down to Queenstown with a beautiful drive passed Lake Wanaka. Although we didn’t fill our time with adrenalin inducing activities in the infamous adventure capital, we did manage to stuff ourselves with the legendary Fergburgers and the most amazing gelato and hot chocolate at a lakeside cafe called Patagonia. After a scenic cruise through Milford Sound, we stepped back in time and spent a night in a 1930s miner’s camp, amusing ourselves with games of charades and being serenaded to sleep by a guitar playing Aussie.

We then ventured into the deep south and spent a rather blustery afternoon in Invercargill, the southernmost city in NZ and the closest point that we were ever going to get to the South Pole (4810km away to be precise). Despite being so close to the Antarctic, we sadly didn’t see any penguins on our long nature-spotting drive to Dunedin, NZ‘s version of Edinburgh, where we happily spent the evening in Speight’s Brewery before waking up the next day to find all our booze, veggies and 2 of Em’s crumpets nicked. We were not impressed.

With just 2 nights in the stunning snow capped region of Mt Cook (or Mt Cock as the Kiwis pronounce it) followed by a night in Peel Forest, with its 3 tiered bunk beds, communal showers and the longest and most intense game of Monopoly I have ever witnessed, we soon found ourselves ready to fly out of Christchurch. Luckily, the earth managed to sit still long enough to let us take off to Sydney, where we are now literally counting down the hours until our 6 month adventure comes to an official end.

We both can’t quite believe this is it. We’ve been thinking of our return home for quite some time, yet it has always seemed a long way away. But March has zoomed around meaning that our ’gap yah’ is soon to be over and we’re both going to have to fall back into reality as opposed to living the crazy life of backpackers. Although I will gladly wave goodbye to living out of a bag, sharing rooms with snorers etc etc, I will miss seeing new things everyday, meeting some amazing people and doing those once-in-a-lifetime activities. The last half a year has undeniably been one of the best in my life. Cliché, I know, but there is simply nothing else that compares. It has taught me a lot about myself, about Em and about other people, whilst also giving me some amazing experiences and lots of fantastic memories. It has also given me a serious travelling itch, that will have to be satisfied in the next year or two, as I definitely want to discover more of this incredible world.

So, for the last time, until then….

NZ North Island 07 Feb - 18 Feb 2011

It’s Kiwi time! The first stop for us two well-versed travellers was Auckland, which, if I’m honest, is not the most interesting of cities unless you fancy throwing yourself off of the edge of its SkyTower. No thanks. But luckily for us, we were soon off on our Stray adventure (a Stray bus is yet another hop-on hop-off type of tour bus) to visit Paihia, a small town located up north in the Bay of Islands. Here, we took a cruise (yes, we do sound like old women on a Saga holiday) around the many picturesque islands and rock formations, and amazingly, we came across a huge pod of dolphins during our sail, some even with babies. They’re just such beautiful, graceful creatures. If only I could have a pet Flipper…

Our next move was to Hahei, with several stops en route to hug the large Kauri trees in the hope that they’d deliver us with good weather, followed by an evening spent at Hot Water Beach, whereby digging big holes in the sand leaves you with a rather toasty beach-front bath tub due to the local geothermal activity. From then on, we quickly grasped the fact that NZ is a geothermal haven since hot streams, bubbling mud pools and egg-smelling sulphur vents spring up everywhere, with Rotorua being the stinkiest place of all. The entire country is also riddled with volcanoes and is situated on the fault line of two pretty hefty tectonic plates (we swotted up on our geographical knowledge at the Te Papa museum in Wellington), so all in all, it’s a fairly lively place.

Moving onto Raglan, we were given a 2^nd chance at perfecting our surfing techniques on its killer waves (once we‘d been rescued from our broken down bus), followed by the more important process of Em successfully conquering her fear of caving at Waitomo. This involved a 2 hour underground adventure, where we lowered ourselves into a seriously strange underworld of water, jagged rocks, stalactites and stalagmites, all of which were lit up by glow-worms, that are the only creatures with actual light shining out of their arse due to the efficient combustion of their poo. Nice. And in order to keep up our rep as respectable tourists, we boosted our cultural knowledge at Maketu by witnessing a traditional Maori performance, including a demo of the Haka. It was just a shame it wasn’t done by the All Blacks rugby team.

After ridiculous amounts of debating on whether or not to do a skydive, a conversation topic that Em wisely tuned out of after it’s 100^th mention, I finally took the plunge (literally) and booked myself in for a 15000ft jump in Taupo. I must admit I was wet-my-pants terrified by the idea of hopping out of the hot pink mini plane that was to take me up to such a crazy height, but it was just INCREDIBLE. Simply A-MAY-ZING. Alongside getting an instant facelift from 60+ secs of freefall, the 5-6 mins cruise back down to earth was simply the best feeling in the world, with breath-taking views of the Tongariro National Park and Lake Taupo. I definitely wouldn’t hesitate if I was offered another go, particularly since the adrenalin high kept me blissfully smiling well into the night, with one girl comparing my mental state to that of someone who was stoned.

Although my jump only gave me a birds-eye view of the Tongariro National Park, Em and I saw a lot more of it from the ground when we participated in a 20km hike over the world famous Tongariro Alpine Crossing, with treks up and around several volcanoes, including Mt Ruapehu, which is better known as Mt Doom from Lord of the Rings. After 7 hours of hiking on some terribly uneven terrain (at one point we were practically skidding/falling down a very steep scree slope), we gladly welcomed the sight of the two hot tubs at that night’s hostel to soothe our aching limbs.

Speaking of Lord of the Rings, seeing as I’m a bit of a fan and that I was in the land of the hobbit, I thought it’d be fun to go on a movie tour in Wellington. How wrong could I be. Instead of visiting film locations, movie sets and being able to handle various props, we were taken on a bus tour around the outside of Weta Film Studios (so just some big old concrete warehouses), seeing nothing remotely Lord of the Rings related until we were dropped off at a souvenir shop, in which we were supposed to spend an hour of our time considering buying memorabilia such as a bronze Gollum worth $27000. So you can understand why I bailed after just a quarter of it, while also desperately wanting to escape the bus full of the real avid fans manically taking photos of the most pointless scenery where Frodo may have once walked.

So, with our tour of the North Island pretty much completed, we’re to bid farewell to our crazy bus driver, Chase, with all her vulgar comments, and take the ferry, at some unearthly hour, across Cook’s Strait to start our adventure around the South Island.

Until then…

Sydney 27 Jan - 07 Feb 2011

HELLO SYDNEY! Whenever I think of the word Sydney, it somehow flits across my mind in the voice of Dory, the blue fish from Nemo, with P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way before it. Although the city may not be as bright and colourful as Disney Pixar would make out, Sydney definitely didn‘t disappoint us as there was plenty of hustle and bustle, art and culture and Starbucks and Wagamamas for us to shake our sticks at.

There were the obvious landmarks that we had to tick off our bucket lists, including the Opera House (or should I now say the Oprah House after her invasion of Oz last month… I can’t quite see why she‘s so idolised), a walk over the Harbour Bridge (which was made out of Scunthorpe steel, FYI) and a ferry trip to both Manly and Watson’s Bay. We also had a little wander to Bondi, where the sea is just beautiful, but the waves are a little rough. Yet this was only realised after I’d flashed my boob to Em. Whoops.

Then, there were our day trips: the first being to the Blue Mountains, that are basically Australia’s version of the Grand Canyon, but with tonnes of eucalyptus trees covering every square metre and whose oil reflects blue light, hence their colourful name. All of this along with rock formations like The Three Sisters were very pretty, especially from the high viewpoints of the glass-bottomed cable cars we took across the valley, along with a ride on the world’s steepest railway, which turned Em into a screeching banshee. Then we had our 1-day surf camp. Despite our surf dude rocking up in a Fraser Island-esque 4x4 (our faces dropped at the sight of it) with a trailer full of duck-taped up surf boards, we had an absolute wicked day being face planted and dunked under too many waves. Em was pretty nifty at getting stood up on her board, whilst I was as graceful as a one-legged kangaroo. Happy memories will definitely be taken from our surf day, along with severe knee and elbow grazes, all over body ache and a fat lip for Em.

Also featuring in our whirlwind tour of Sydney were walks around Darling Harbour, a seafood platter at Sydney’s famous fish markets (where we sampled whole battered octopus…bleurgh), a leisurely browse of the trendy stalls at the Paddington markets, celebrating the Chinese New Year with funky dim sum and men singing unnaturally high and also, a nice visit to yet more of the many Mollett relatives down under. We both just can’t quite believe that we’re off to New Zealand tomorrow and that our worldwide adventure will end in a mere 32 days. Time flies, literally.

Until then…

Perth 29th Dec 2010 to date

A very belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all. I can’t quite believe it’s 2011 already. Instead of telling people we graduated uni this year, we are going travelling this year and that we can leave all official adult responsibilities until next year, we have to face facts it is now THIS year that Em turns 22, I turn 23 (oh my), we will finish travelling and ultimately end up joining the working world and paying the majority of our earnings to the taxman. Woohoo! Man, growing up is scary. Thankfully for the next 7 weeks we don’t have to worry ourselves with that.

Christmas was a nice family affair, with Em’s parents joining us after miraculously managing to get on a flight out of a very snow-riddled Heathrow. Despite the monsoon-esque rains that had decided to relocate to the east coast for Christmas, we persevered through the wet (yes, you had a White Christmas whilst we just had a Wet One - unfair!) and had a typical Aussie barbie for Christmas dinner, with various fish and prawns. Mmmm. We also had a cheeky bit of Christmas pud to keep it traditional. Sadly, all this Christmas/family cheer had to end prematurely due to the Great British freeze wreaking havoc with Em’s home’s water pipes, resulting in an early flight home for her parents to go and rescue a rather damp kitchen and hallway. This then left Em and I with a few weeks to fill before our Oz Experience tour was to continue from Brisbane. So, as you do, we booked a last minute flight out to Perth, where we tottered off to stay with yet another one of Em’s uncles.

Perth is gloriously sunny. Like all the time. It is just DE-lightful. And there isn’t the humidity on the west coast like there is in the east, which is always a bonus as sweating over everything just isn’t an attractive quality. We’ve had wanders around King’s Park, taking in the panoramic views of the city and visited the Swan Valley (“Perth’s Valley of Taste”) with all its vineyards and FREE wine, cheese and most importantly, chocolate tasting factories. Christmas indulgence is allowed to stretch into January, right?! Why is it that all my good memories involve a really tasty food item? I’m officially obsessed! But I’d rather it be described as a passion as opposed to greediness. Em has it too and her uncle, Dave, definitely does, particularly since we set out on an authentic curry making mission for our NYE’s meal, where 5 hours was spent chopping, slicing, dicing, crushing, grinding, blending, sautéing, stirring and various other culinary techniques to produce 3 traditional recipes. I can now see why many people just opt for a cheeky Sharwood

s jar instead. But our efforts weren’t in vain as they definitely tasted better than number 76, 83 and 105 from the takeaway down the road.

The whirlwind adventure has continued here, with Sunday walks along the Hillarys coastline, necessary cooling off periods in the sea at Sorrento and amazingly, prime seats at Perth’s Hopman Cup where we got to witness Andy Murray’s first win of the tennis season. There has also been lunch up in the Darling Hills, star/planet gazing at a major Perth observatory and actually realising that there is some truth in all the astrology malarkey (read up on your personology profile for your date of birth and like me, you’ll realise that you’re quite the typical Sept 4^th baby. FREAKY). And as well as having leisurely, yet bum-killing, push-bike rides around the scenic Rottnest Island with all its cute Quokkas (mouse crossed with a kangaroo type creatures), we‘ve both also had a rather speedy go on the back of a Ducati motorbike.

Due to the extreme weather and severe flooding that has been destroying much of Queensland recently, our Oz Experience tour from Brisbane onwards had to be cancelled. Although this did mean that we would miss out on Surfer’s Paradise and Byron Bay, like all our other recent dramas, this cloud also had a silver lining as it gave us an extra 2 weeks in Perth, alongside being able to put our pricey travel insurance to some actual good use. With the kind loan of Em’s uncle’s 4x4, we decided to fill our extra time with a road trip around south west WA, visiting iconic places like Margaret River, Albany and most importantly, some of the many Mollett relatives that live in Australia. We had an absolute whale of a time staying with James, Nat and the kids and despite the limited time we were there, we still managed to tour their farm, catch, kill, cook and eat yabbies, kayak in dams and eat enough freshly made scones to rival the Queen. But the memory that will stay with both of us forever will have to be swimming on their horses in the crystal blue sea. Just incredible.

After having driven the endless straight and empty roads of rural SW Australia (I thought the A1 was boring to drive), we’re now just enjoying our last few days in Perth before we head off to Sydney. We also have Australia Day to contend with before we leave, which is an excuse for a public holiday to basically get wasted and be proud of being Australian. Hmmm, I wonder why we don’t have an “I love England Day”? Let’s hope we don’t get egg-bombed for being pohms.

Until Sydney…

Clontarf 28 Oct 2010 to date

Well, I think it’s safe to say that Em and I are the most unemployable people alive. After several rounds of handing out CVs (or ‘resumés’ as they call it out here), one failed interview with a rather sizeable and freaky Greek man and even a request for a police check to become a mere clearer-upper, it appears that nobody wants to employ us. We clearly missed the window of opportunity, which must have been between our handout sessions, god damn it. Or the businesses simply didn’t like the look of our faces, but that’s not our problem. So, all in all, a massive job search fail. But to be fair, with the arrival of Em’s parents, and obviously Christmas, just a few weeks away and the fact we have the next 40 years of our lives to work solidly, we’re not overly upset about not being employed.

So, we’ve simply been enjoying the relaxed Aussie lifestyle for what it is and we’re massively appreciating the start of our second summer of the year (though I can’t really say we actually witnessed the first one before we left…). We’ve waddled into the centre of Brisbane for retail/Starbucks therapy on numerous occasions, we’ve visited places including Bribie Island and also, we’ve had a gander around various markets in the area. Apart from these markets fuelling my ever-growing obsession for Greek baklava (layers of filo pastry soaked in honey with a filling of chopped nuts, mmmmm), they’ve also played host to some of the most extreme acts of road rage, well car park rage, we’ve ever seen. You’ll all be familiar with the pain-staking parking space search that comes with a pretty much full car park, where you often end up hawk-eyeing anyone who appears to be returning to their car, whilst evil-eyeing any potential parking space stealers. Although most returning shoppers tend to get in their car and move off fairly swiftly, the women parked next to Em’s aunt’s car at the popular Chandler markets was actively taking her time. This not only resulted in a back up of beeping cars waiting to either park or exit, but several shouts of “you bitch” from the elderly man in the nearest expectant car and the oh-so threatening ‘finger in face’ move by a woman who even got out her car to voice her thoughts. It was all a bit over dramatic if you ask me, especially when there was another car park a bit further away. Why do people always insist on parking as close to things as possible when it is much easier and less problematic to park a few extra metres away? Some people are just weird.

With the Christmas cheer well and truly getting into full swing (though full swing in Aussie terms is more half swing in our British terms. Boo. They don‘t even show the Coca-Cola advert out here!), we‘re being inundated with endless adverts of very tasty treats. Since Em and I are all for indulging, we thought it’d be wise to get on the exercise wagon to keep ourselves in order. This includes attending weekly sessions of Zumba, which is a latin-american type of dance that basically involves jiggling around in a room of middle aged ladies for 1h30, with the occasional group grunt and lots of pelvic thrusting. Just hilarious. We’ve also tracked down the local swimming pool, which just so happens to have turned out several Olympic champs, where we go for a cool down quite a lot (the additional exercise of the swim is merely a bonus). But MY DAYS, a length in a 50m pool is so much harder than in the Ancholme Leisure Centre, which must be just half of that. I literally look like a beetroot by the time I’ve hauled myself from one end to the other. Attractive.

On a more important note, the new Harry Potter film is just A-MAY-ZING. But why do they just tempt you with half of it? I’d have been happy to sit there for another 2-3 hours if it meant I could see the whole thing and munch on more sweeties! I suppose I’ll just have to wait til next July. As in mid-2011. Yawn. But an interesting question Em put to me: ‘Is it bad that I (as in Em) find Ron attractive?’. Despite the awkward face I pulled, I didn’t quite know what to reply, so I’ll let you all decide the answer.

Noosa to Mooloolaba to Brisbane to Clontarf 15 Oct 2010 to date

So, apparently Fraser Island is one of the most deadliest places on Earth to stay, due to it being home to a large proportion of the world’s most poisonous creatures. You name the evilest thing you can think of (snakes, spiders, jellyfish, sharks etc etc) and you can pretty much guarantee that they’re on (or around) Fraser Island. They don’t tell you these facts before you tottle off on your little camping adventure for obvious reasons (ignorance is bliss, so I hear), but I would have greatly appreciated knowing that the holes I kept stuffing my loo roll down were in fact home to deadly spider No.1. It’s bad enough fearing something will nab your bum when you squat! So I suppose I should be glad that we both survived such a dangerous place.

Next stop for us two happy campers was Noosa, which according to our guide is the “hippest beachside destination in Australia”. It definitely didn’t disappoint, what with it’s pretty riverside/seaside location and extensive National Park (with a nudist beach situated right in the middle…). Despite only having a couple of days here, we did find enough time to venture inland to the famous Eumundi markets, which sell anything and everything. The free tastings of honey roasted macadenia nuts, popcorn and fudge were particularly good.

Back on the bus (unfortunately with the most annoying traveller to date, with his repetitive stories and constant singing of “The wheels on the bus…”), we headed a mere 30km down the coast to a small town called Mooloolaba, where we stayed whilst visiting Australia (or more precisely, Steve Irwin’s) Zoo. I do miss his OTT enthusiasm when confronting angry creatures: “Did you see that?! It almost bit me!”. Well no wonder when you poke it hard in the ribs with a stick. But RIP and god bless to the crazy fella.

Our next and final stop for a while, well this year to be precise, was Brisbane, where we finally reached some form of proper civilisation, where things like shower gel don’t cost 6 precious pounds and you don’t have to trek several miles to find some form of fodder. With just 3 days in the city centre, we flitted around seeing the sights and enjoying some city luxuries, including several Starbucks and a cheeky chicken katsu curry at Wagamamas. Nom Nom. We also met up with my friend Rachael who is doing the Oz Exp the opposite way to us, so we learnt all about what to do and what not to do in the places we are yet to visit. All good mental preparation I suppose, especially with respect to the notorious hippy town of Surfer’s Paradise, where cannibis is just about as readily available as tap water. I may have to think twice about buying a cheeky sweet treat. Brownie anyone?

We are now comfortably settled in at Em’s uncle’s house in Clontarf, a quiet town in the Redcliffe area, which lies about 40 mins north west of Brisbane’s city centre. Due to the extreme kindness of Em’s relatives and the very relaxed Aussie way of life, we’ll be camping out here until mid-January, which is when we’ll resume our Oz Exp tour down to Sydney.

So, with 10 weeks to fill and a rather costly STA bill to pay (which includes our return flights to NZ in Feb/March and the all important flight home), the time has come to make use of our working visas and find some form of job. Seeing as we’re here until after the New Year, Christmas temp jobs are obviously the way forward. And to me, this meant being able to fulfil my dream of becomning one of Santa’s elves! Now, Em initially slammed this idea, claiming no such thing existed and mumbling some form of jibe to the fact that I’d be too large anyway. But her cheek was soon squashed after a quick reminder of the film Elf and actually finding a legitimate job ad wanting elves for $20 an hour (that’s like 13 pounds). How I love karma. But due to location issues and our lack of transport, my hopes of becoming a ‘little’ helper have been stopped in their tracks. Boo. So, it’s back to the job search and CV (I should say resume since saying CV gets you nowhere out here) handing out. Fun times.

Until the end of our current unemployment….

Rainbow Beach & Fraser Island 10-15 Oct 2010

Despite being ‘warmly’ welcomed to Rainbow Beach with some delightful sheeting rain, it luckily didn’t carry over into our camping trip as it exhausted itself overnight in a thunderous storm. Thank heavens, literally. So Em and I set off on our
2 night/3 day adventure to Fraser Island aboard a dated Land Cruiser (it had already clocked up 2 million kms) with our family of 8 for the next few days.

Toilet wise, Thunder was partially correct with the ‘dig a hole’ idea, but only at night since we opted for the free camp sites, i.e. the seafront, as opposed to the costly camping areas with the nice-ities of loos and running water. This also meant
we weren’t showering for the next few days. YUM. But thanks to the god sends of dry shampoo and deoderant, aka showers in cans, we were set to not hum by the end of it. However, the French couple in our 4x4 had an odour to them from day 1, so that didn’t bode well for our noses’ futures.

After getting the barge across to the island, we began our tour by following our guide for the trip, Wayne, along with another truck of 7. Before July 2010, you would’ve been able to do your own tour of Fraser, the world’s largest sand island, but due to endless damaged vehicles, many a lost traveller and sadly, a few fatal accidents, this could no longer be done. But to be honest, you actually need a lead vehicle otherwise you’d just get lost on the sandy inland tracks, without signs, that zigzag throughout the trees. Or, you’d simply end up trapped by the tide on a beach somewhere and just drown.

I don’t quite know what we were expecting of this trip, but it was a bit of a drag to be honest. The 4x4 driving on the rough tracks and along sandy beaches was pretty cool, but when you have driven for a couple of hours and then sat for the rest of the day bouncing about like a rag doll in the cramped back seat, it can get a bit tiresome. There were some fantastic coastal views on the island, including Indian Head, and there were also the scenic perched lakes. But there is only so many natural things you can visit in one day, and then there is the issue of camping. I needn’t expand on this other than the fact Em and I appreciate a good meal in the evening and a mattress to sleep on at night.

The highlight of our trip would have to be seeing the wild dingoes that inhabit the island as we were convinced Wayne was having us on as we hadn’t seen one at all and they were apparently all over Fraser. We even thought Wayne went out late at night to make fake paw prints in the sand. But late on the second night, the real live ones frightened the socks off of us as they came to visit our campsite and Em shined the torch right into the face of a big male just 2m away. But all they want is your food and unless they’re provoked, they’ll just leave you alone. We learnt all this after watching the most tedious safety video beforehand that lasted for 45 mins and showed a couple cautiously backing away from the dingo with their arms crossed over their chests. Now that’s really going to help. I swear the government must think no-one has an ounce of common sense any more.

We now have just one more day in Rainbow Beach before we move on, which we’ll spend trekking to the infamous sand blows (dunes) that give Rainbow its name. Until next time…

Kroombit Cattle Station 08-09 Oct 2010

The thought of having a bus journey leaving Airlie Beach at 7am and then not arriving at our destination of Kroombit Cattle Station until 6pm that evening was just blurgh. Why does Australia have to be so vast?! However, since we were priveleged enough to be escorted to Kroombit by who is now our favourite Oz Experience driver, Thunder, our journey was actually really good fun. Obviously Thunder isn’t a common name (his actual name is Claude), but all Oz Ex drivers have a bus name, including Wings, Eute and Sonic, yet they won’t for the life of them let on what they stand for. Maybe Thunder has a thunder wee (any CCBC
rowers will know who I’m relating that comment to!).

Our first bus pit stop was in Sarina, which is a small town famous for its mud racing. But sadly, we were only there for a quick game of lawn boules, because we are in fact 75+ year old geriatrics. As fun as it was, I think I may find an alternate
retirement sport. The next stop was Australia’s beef capital (meat not men), Rockhampton,where they have endless statues of bulls to celebrate the cow. However, all of them have steel rods through their balls as people have taken to stealing their bollocks for some bizarre reason! I wonder if they’re on ebay… Then we had the final long haul inland, but this was easily passed with endless country music songs (everyone loves a bit of Dolly) and some interesting tales from Thunder, who claimed to be the guy off of Wolf Creek, who kidnaps 2 female backpackers and tortures them. That didn’t worry us at all…

On arrival to Kroombit Cattle Station, we knew we’d have a true outback experience, seeing as everything was made out of corregated iron and wooden slats, plus the fact we were in the middle of nowhere! After a typical cowboy meal of roast beef, we drank, whip cracked and rode (or massively failed at riding) a mechanical bull to our heart’s content.

Day 2 started early (yet again), with some clay pigeon shooting and a mock up game of goat branding. I should probably call it a shit up game of goat branding as teams of 4 were put in a small, goat-poo encrusted enclosure and were given the task of fetching a male goat from the next enclosure of around 100 goats, dragging it into the main ring, tipping it, fake branding it and then releasing it into the field. All I can say is a lot of people got shit in between their flip-flopped toes. Nice. We then had to muster the goats from one field to one a bit of a trek away. But thankfully, this was done on horseback, which was really good fun. Although I did miss not having my jodphurs as shorts really aren’t a good alternative!

It was then back to the road, as we had yet another 7 hours to go before we would make it back to the coast to Rainbow Beach, which would be our next stop. We learnt more fun fact from Thunder, including the differences between kangaroos, wallaroos and wallabies (though I have no idea what they are now) and that he is trained assassin and has eaten human in Somalia before. But he is a massive bullshitter so god knows if that’s true! He even manged to convince me that there are no loos on Fraser Island, which we’re about to camp on for 3 days, so you have to dig a 12 inch hole to do your business in instead. I really hope he’s lying! He also played chicken with the cows and wild horses, which were along the road, but luckily the death toll was only one cuckaburra. Though he has hit a camel before. Now that is true!

Amidst all this madness, some Oasis singing and a lot of “Fuck Yeah” answers from Thunder, we arrived in Rainbow Beach, where to our dismay, it was raining. Why did we have to cross the tropic of capricorn and leave tropical Queensland?! Em and I have no warm clothes with us so if this wet weather keeps up, camping on Fraser is going to be interesting. Until then….

Airlie Beach 02 - 07 Oct 2010

So apparently I look like Rachel from Glee….?!?! This is according to at least 4 people we met or just even passed in the street on our first night in Airlie Beach. Luckily no-one asked for a rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing” as they would have been massively disappointed and most likely deafened/traumatized by the experience. And a note to anyone who wants to attract unnecessary male attention; just wear a polka dot skirt from Hollister. That seems to do the trick. Aussie men clearly have strange fantasies.

Anywho, despite Airlie Beach being quite a party town, with a 500m main street of bars, a few clubs, restaurants and travel agents (it actually quite reminded me of the main street in Malia, just nicer and without those god awful reps accosting you
each time you pass), we had actually come here for the Whitsunday Islands, which lie just a few miles offshore. The best way to see the various islands and other sights of the Whitsundays was to go on an overnight sailing adventure. So, Em and I reported to the marina at stupid’o’clock in the morning (Em in a very sailor-esque get up of navy blue and red and white stripes,as you do) to board our ex-racing sail boat named Siska. Our first thoughts were how on earth were 18 people
going to fit and also sleep on such a small boat. But it was suprisingly spacious inside, though Em did force me to sleep in the tight bottom bunk as she claims to be claustrophobic. The fact I don’t fit into small places was apparently not an issue.

Our first stop was a look-out point on the main (and biggest) island, Whitsunday Island. I can’t even start to describe the view we saw after climbing up the many steps to the viewing point. Just incredible! The famous Whitehaven Beach took up most of our gaze, what with its 99.9% pure white silica sand contrasted against the aqua blue sea. But despite it being so beautiful, that sand just gets everywhere, as we discovered after 2 hours of vegetating on the beach itself. There are even warnings as to the fact that this sand can get in electricals and destroy them since it’s so fine. I swear there’s still some in my ears.

Next, we moved onto Nara Inlet of Hook Island, where we were mooring for the night due to its tranquil waters. We were lucky enough to have a cloudless night, so we could see endless stars. But this caused our host, Dan (or fit Dan if you like…) to give us an astronomy lesson. YAWN. I’ve always hated Physics. Though, we did spot Scorpio, Saturn and the Milky Way, so maybe Physics isn’t all that bad.

Day 2 saw us snorkelling the Great Barrier Reef at Blue Pearl, just off of Hayman Island, in our sexy stinger suits (stinger suits protect you from, well, stingers). Again, just amazing! We saw tonnes and tonnes of fish, of all different colours and sizes, includng the infamous Nemo “clown” fish, several turtles and a massive fish that I can’t remember the type of called Elvis. It was just so much fun.

After a lop-sided yet very speedy sail back to the mainland, Em and I are now just passing the time in Airlie until the Oz Experience bus picks us up tomorrow morning for a delightful 7 hour road trip to a Cattle Station in the middle of nowhere.
Until then, I guess we’ll just top up our tans…. :)

Cairns to Townsville 23 Sept - 02 Oct 2010

G’day mate! How you going? These are just two of many common phrases we’ve heard at least five times a day since we’ve been here in Australia. But unlike when we were in America, we actually like the accent. And I’m starting to think our English accents sound odd so don’t be surprised if I come back with a bit of a twang. Though a lot of you know how awful my accents are so god knows what I’ll end up speaking like!

Our first stop in Aussie was Cairns. We were expecting to stay here for quite a while seeing as the guide book described it as vibrant city. However, seeing as Em compared it to Scunthorpe (I think this was said with more respect to its size as opposed to the look, although some bits wouldn’t have looked out of place in the steel town), we decided just to spend 3 days there (The Northern Greenhouse is a very nice hostel, with free brekkie, free wifi and sparkling en suites, just so you know).  The highlight for us was a trip up to Kuranda, a small village located 25km north of Cairns, which we got to via an old scenic rail-route through several national parks, winding around gorges and passing immense waterfalls. All was very picturesque, though the train did move at a ridiculously slow snail pace. After looking around the village’s various little markets (did you know they make hip flasks out of kangaroo balls?), we went to a koala sanctuary, where we were able to snuggle up to the cuddly little things! There is a picture of me with one somewhere, though my koala, Prue, seems to look angry as opposed to cute and happy. Let’s hope it was down to her being hormonal as opposed to disliking me!

Due to the lack of things to do in Cairns other than the standard high-adrenalin sports that we’re yet to contemplate (though a bungy jump for me in NZ may be on the cards…), we hopped on the Oz Experience bus to start our steady descent down the east coast. The Oz Experience is exactly the same idea as the Feejee Experience, but thankfully with bigger buses and more people to meet. En route to Mission Beach, our first hop-off point, we visited some random big boulders in Babinda and went to a croc farm in Innisfail, where a crazy woman brought a crocodile onboard the bus before we could even unbuckle our seatbelts! She even suspended it, head first, between my legs just for her sheer tormenting pleasure! However, we both did man up and held the beast a bit later, with the added comfort of its mouth being gaffer-taped shut. We also witnessed some right fatties whilst we were there, that weighed around 500kg (crocs not people by the way). I definitely wouldn’t want my head caught in their jaws. They’re just horrible dinosaur–esque creatures!

On arrival to Mission Beach, we discovered that it was pretty much like a ghost town. Or more correctly, a handful of houses, a few hostels, a supermarket and also, the odd cassowary, the 3^rd largest bird in the world, which is sadly going into extinction.  We obviously weren’t stopping there for the abundance of attractions, but we were stationed near to some world renowned white water rafting on the nearby Tully river, which offered 15km (or 5 hours) of grade 4 river rafting (grade 6 is the highest). It was just amazing! There were a couple of bounces off of the raft, a few under-water dunkings, a knee graze for Em and a lot of match-fly swatting for everyone (the biting buggers just wouldn’t give in). A definite must if you’re anywhere in the area, but you only need to stay for a couple of nights for boredom/sanity reasons.

Our next stop was Townsville, where we parted with the majority of the Oz Experience people, most of whom headed onto Magnetic (“Maggie”) Island. We could’ve accompanied them on the ferry, but seeing as we’ve already had several days beach bumming on the tropical lands of Fiji, it seemed silly to do it all again there. Plus, seeing as Townsville is the largest city in Queensland north of the Sunshine Coast, we thought we’d find plenty to amuse ourselves with. Unfortunately, we were wrong. The much hyped live reef aquarium was a complete (and expensive) let-down, the hike up Castle Hill to see the “magnificent views’ was a major sweat fest (and almost asthma attack for Em) and the biggest tragedy was that the typical army guys who dominate the town on the weekend had decided to visit Maggie Island when we were there. Gutted.

Until Airlie Beach and the Whitsundays….